i don't know what to feel.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
♥ 2:33 PM
apart from haji lane with mich. p on monday which was quite fun, i think i feel super lost now- for the simple reason that many people i know who are going to business/accountancy courses are heading elsewhere BUT nus! even those heading to nus will be joining me 2 years later as juniors! not fair. ):
smu you're stealing all my friends argh. ):
which leaves me to wonder if i made the right choice by not applying for smu at all.
*thinks for a while* yeah it's pretty stupid of me.
another thing to add to my list of the 10 great dumb decisions marie tan made as an 18-year-old.
sure, my choice made earlier is good, but is it THE BEST?
despite numerous assurances from a lot of people, i don't feel more comforted. blame it on my lack of knowledge about universities. call me noobshit; it's really my middle name. it seems that being the first child of the family really makes you the guinea pig. from the way things are turning out it ain't a good sign.
jet once said that my posts are always end of with a sign of optimism, but i think he'll wanna take it back when he reads this, cos this ain't positive at all.
i'm confused. and not confident of the future.
i just want a holiday with nothing to worry about.
mia i'm so sad you're not coming for ballet classes anymore! ):
meet-ups!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
♥ 12:23 PM
this week, in an essence, has been full of meet-ups with my friends.
on tuesday, i met up with mich after painting class to shop around for mrs lb's gift and watch 'dance, subaru!' which was nice nice nice. it's kinda overtaken step up as one of the better dance shows i've watched largely due to the emotions that the characters portray. the choerography is also not bad, makes me greater appreciate the traditional dances ie. ballet as more modern dances like hip-hop or street dance become more popular nowadays. the dinner gathering at home was not bad especially since we were treated to a
home movie. haha.
wednesday the T14 people went to visit mrs lb at her humble abode! emman was SO CUTE- he announced to the whole house (and possibly the neighbourhood) when we arrived haha. our attention whilst there was centred mainly around emman who thoroughly entertained us with the antics of any 4-year-old boy. haha. with the big kor-kors and big jie-jies, there was certainly much to laugh about. after our visit, the plan to head to butter factory didn't really come through for many of us due to the late hour and the long queue expected. so it was home sweet home.
yesterday i met up with soon-li and
lulu for lunch and 'ghost of girlfriends past' movie! it was the usual shopping and eating, and towards evening i headed to work.
there's more coming up, till then!
there just ain't no boys in my family!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
♥ 4:52 PM
tekong was an eye-opener for me! kudos to mich p. for inviting me along to go to tekong to witness the guys' passing out parade (POP). i can't really put the experience into comprehendable strings of words- it's really not that long but somehow some emotions flow through that just may not be adequately expressed in words.
the whole area looked quite built up, at least only the areas we went to. from the ferry it looked somewhat like a resort, but of course the NS boys would exclaim that it is otherwise haha. the parade was ok; eye-opening, fascinating and entertaining for civilians like me. i was telling mich how nice the army uniform looks in terms of its cut and colour etc. haha. *guys, you have permission to smack me in the face haha*. and the guys were black! chao ta like roast chickens! haha.
i guess 'proud' would do justice to what i feel for all the guys out there serving army. heh. congrats on your POP! (:
the guys coming in from their '24km route march'. *grins*
the guys standing in line with their field packs etc after filing into the parade square.
the guys with their field packs on the ground and in attention!
the guys doing some weird cheer thingy. haha. they look like the new zealand ruggers doing the war dance before their match haha.
throwing their caps in jubliation. (:
mich, james, me & toon jin (whom i forgot that was in the same company as james and was graduating from BMT the same day! sorry toon!)
perhaps one of the biggest mistakes as an 18-year-old.
Monday, June 08, 2009
♥ 5:16 PM
i feel so sucky now i wanna drown myself in soap.
but thanks for the kind thoughts, in the end i blew it for myself. heh.
what a post for a just-turned-19 year old kid, er, i mean, teenager.
19 and feeling old!!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
♥ 12:38 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (:
since my 16th birthday, every birthday leading up to that has been sweet. sweet 17, sweet 18, sweet 19...HAHA, funny eh?
for a long time i've longed by birthday to fall on a sunday, and finally this wish of mine came true this year. right, so it's not exactly a wish, i never wished that before blowing out any birthday candles. now i'm wishing for my birthday to fall on a friday, and that'll be in 201(?) (i haven't taken the time to figure how old i'll be then HAHA. it's been a pretty lazy morning due to the weather, but now that the rain is here, i guess it puts us in a greater mood to do some activities later in the day.
aunty eng eng said today's my birthday both in the gregorian and lunar calander, and according to the lunar calander i'm born on the 15th of the 5th month. apparently to have your birthday fall on the same day in the gregorian and lunar calander happens only once every 40 years, and what's better this year is that the 5th month of the lunar calander repeats itself this year, so i get to celebrate my birthday again next month! haha. relax, i'm not desperate to celebrate my 'last teenage year'. one day is quite good, and honestly as long as i'm happy, it'll make it seem as if every day is my birthday! (:
and in case i forget, THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES, PRESENTS, VIDEOS ETC!
sentosa with the person who could well be my twin.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
♥ 2:24 PM
i'm so tired today, on the eve of my birthday. (that rhymes!) hee. yesterday i had a whale of a time in sentosa with soon-li, out in the sun, doing things we probably haven't done since the time people called us kids.
met up at PS to settle some errands in the late morning before moving off to vivo. bought lunch at subway, and in our haste to get to sentosa we forgot snacks. haha. underwater world was our first stop, but not before lunch! as we were finishing we saw a boy who got his buger bun snatched by a wild monkey! wanting to protect our food we left quickly, and headed to see our fishys!
underwater world was fun not only with all the marine life but also the 30% discount (holiday season- just show any form of identification!) in the admission ticket that also allows us entry to the dolphin lagoon! in the process we got to touch some fishes, ride on the travellator, see some cool sharks, crabs and a dugong during it's feeding time! it was loads of pics with the marine life before we hopped onto the shuttle bus to go ride the skyride and the luge!
this is perhaps the most fun thing of the day probably cos it was our first time! soon-li was a tad scared of the skyride, but having much similarities and more safety features than the ski lift i took in US, the skyride it proved to be nothing at all! just keep your slippers and belongings to yourself, or chances are you won't get them back if you lose them! haha. and the nicest thing up there: the view of the sea with the ships afloat, and the view of much of sentosa island.
after the luge we got onto the shuttle again and headed to the dolphin lagoon. we met a fellow cj mate whom i discovered was working at sentosa but had no idea it was at dolphin lagoon till yesterday when she waved at me. the performance and tricks by the grey-&-pink dolphins was cool, they're really smart! (:
following that we took a long stroll from palawan beach to siloso beach in a bid to find a bike rental shop. after about 40 mins, including a stop at THE SOUTHERNMOST POINT OF THE ASIA CONTINENT :D we finally reached a shop, rented bikes, and peddled all the way to the dolphin lagoon. haha. (there is really no other route to bike, knowing us, we'd probably get lost hahaha) but half way through soon-li bike chain got dislodged from the wheel after a slight bump, so we made our way back to the shop, got a replacement bike, before going to the other end of siloso beach. took a few shots, and returned our bikes and headed back.
at the end of it all, i'm grateful for the company, the exercise and the day out. the only disappointment: no tan. HAHA.
ALONE!?
Thursday, June 04, 2009
♥ 2:01 PM
somehow reading jess' blog and talking to mich p. is making me a little emo, an emotion i don't wanna feel especially in the days leading to my 19th birthday. i hope it is only a passing phase, and like the other decisions i've made in my life, i won't live to regret this decision i've just made.
i've accepted nus accountancy. so that's my fate. we were talking about who's going where and what-not, and it seems like i'm not choosing the path i really wanna take. or is it that i'm feeling really scared of what the future holds- the fact that i have to,
once again, step out of my comfort zone and be thrown into the unknown. but like what i said, perhaps i won't regret the decision i made, cos i never regretted taking that leap of faith and going to the schools i went to for secondary and JC education; in fact, those were the days of my soon-approaching 19 years of life.
someone smack me in the face now. what the hell am i complaining about when there are others fretting about where they CAN go?
maybe not even submitting an application to smu was one big mistake to start with. no application = 0% chance = fewer options. aye. even though i had that talk with mum in the car on my way to work, and that she assured me that my decision was perfectly fine and she fully supported and approved of my decision, what am i supposed to feel now?
i feel lost but i can't really change anything, only my emotions and how i'll make the best of my future, and how i wanna feel on my 19th birthday. (:
